“Meditation just isn’t for me.”
I hear that phrase a lot in my counseling practice. However, when I dig a little deeper and ask why they think that way, it turns out that it’s due to misconceptions surrounding the practice of meditation. But, I believe that in most cases, people who truly want to learn the art of meditation can do it, they just need a little support. Today, I want to take a few moments and unravel some of the unhelpful misconceptions you may have about meditation and explain what you can truly expect.
Misconception #1: You have to completely clear your mind when you meditate.
If you’ve never meditated, that’s probably a frightening prospect. But, meditation does not actually require you completely clear your mind. If your mind is busy and all over the place while you practice, that's actually very normal. There are a few ways to proceed if you notice your mind has wandered; you can either embrace it and take note of what you’re thinking about. Or you can try to re-focus your mind on an object of mediation such as a tree out the window, or a candle in your room every time your mind wanders. Treat it like a rep at the gym, you lose focus, then you re-focus and do it again.
Misconception #2: You will feel better or feel joy after meditation.
Meditation practiced regularly can help you feel better long term. But during meditation and right after, you may not actually feel happy. Sometimes, during meditation, you finally face the thoughts and feelings that you have been avoiding. And those can be difficult. But, this is actually a good thing! You can learn to work with these thoughts and feelings through meditation. Over time, this will help you find relief from your troubles. Remember, meditation requires playing a long-term game.
Misconception #3: I am too busy to meditate.
When popular media shows people meditating they make it seem like you have to sit on the floor for hours to meditate. But, that’s not true. Actually, you can start small. Take 30 seconds a day and devote it to meditation. Once you get into the routine, you can increase it and meditate longer if that feels good to you.
Misconception #4: I can’t sit still long enough to meditate
Perhaps, you’ve written off medication because you struggle to sit still, and the thought of having to do so makes you anxious. I get it. Here’s the good news, you don’t have to sit on the floor for long periods of time, and if you start to get restless, that’s okay. Just take a deep breath, refocus, and try again.
Final Thoughts on Meditation
Ultimately, meditation is a practice that takes time to learn. You can’t expect to be good at it right away. It’s a new skill and takes. Just like playing the piano, you can’t expect to be an expert at mediation on your first try. So, manage your expectations and accept that it may be challenging at first. Take each distraction or tough mediation session as an opportunity to grow. Think about what distracted you or made it hard for you to focus and sit still. After time meditation will become easier and once you make it part of your daily routine, I believe you will see a transformation and it will benefit you in many different ways.
Things You Can Do If You’re Struggling to Meditate
If you’re struggling, but committed to making meditation work, there are a few things you can try. Try a meditation app like Headspace, Calm, or Insight Timer. Or you could look up some of my favorite guided meditation videos from teachers like Gil Fronsdal, Ajahn Brahm, Sharon Salzberg, and Jack Kornfield.
Lastly, you could get help from a professional that specializes in meditation. If you are dealing with subsequent mental health issues or going through a tough time in your life, I would encourage you to seek help from a therapist that specializes in teaching their clients mindfulness and meditation. In conjunction with traditional talk therapy, it can be very helpful in dealing with a wide variety of concerns including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, trauma, and more. Additionally, if you’re unable to meet with a therapist in person, you can still connect with a therapist and learn coping techniques including mindfulness via online therapy.
If you live in North Carolina and are interested in learning more about mindfulness and meditation and Buddhist counseling, then I would be honored to speak with you and discuss the ways I can help you. My counseling center is based in Asheville, NC and I offer both in-person and online therapy for adults.
Learn More About Meditation and Begin Counseling in North Carolina
As a skilled therapist in North Carolina, I believe in the healing power of meditation. If you’re looking for therapy and want to learn more about meditation, then I hope you will consider contacting me to discuss rather we would be a good fit to work together. Follow these steps to begin therapy in Asheville, NC or online: therapy in North Carolina:
Call or email me to set up a free consultation
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Other Mental Health Services at Strive On Counseling
At my Asheville, NC counseling office, I treat a variety of mental health concerns including anxiety, chronic illness/chronic pain, substance use or addiction, support for families of addicts, and PTSD. To learn about the many other mental health concerns I treat during individual therapy click here. I use many different modalities of therapy including Buddhist counseling, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), EMDR and trauma therapy, and meditation and mindfulness practices. To learn more about all the therapies I provide, please click here. Contact my office for more information on how I can help you!