When life feels overwhelming, uncertain, or directionless, it can be grounding to reconnect with what truly matters to you—your values. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values aren't just feel-good ideas. They're your inner compass: the deeper motivations that guide how you want to live, love, work, and grow.
Knowing your values is one thing; Living them—especially when life gets messy—is where the real work (and transformation) happens. Let’s explore how ACT helps you live your values, even in the face of fear, discomfort, or self-doubt.
What Are Values in ACT?
In ACT, values are qualities of action. They're not goals you can check off a to-do list. Instead, they describe how you want to show up in the world—again and again—regardless of your current circumstances. Values are chosen, not imposed. They’re about what you care about—not what society, your family, or social media thinks you should care about.
For example:
"Being a loving partner"
"Showing courage in the face of fear"
"Pursuing learning and growth"
"Contributing to my community"
Why Values Matter
When you're living in alignment with your values, life tends to feel more meaningful—even if it’s still hard. You may still face anxiety, grief, or uncertainty, but you’re anchored in alignment, moving in a direction that feels real and right for you.
ACT works to help:
Identify your values clearly
Make decisions based on those values
Accept internal discomfort that arises along the way
Because often, when you move toward what matters, discomfort will make an appearance. It’s not a sign you're failing; It's a sign you're outgrowing your former self.
How to Live Your Values (the ACT Way)
1. Clarify What Matters to You
You can't live your values if you don’t know what they are. Spend some time reflecting on questions like:
What kind of person do I want to be?
What qualities do I want to embody in my relationships?
When do I feel most alive or at peace with myself?
If I were living fully, what would I be doing?
ACT practitioners often use a values sort or life compass exercise. You don’t need to get it perfect—start with a few core values and refine as you go. Think verbs, not nouns. “Creativity” is vague. “Engaging in creative expression” is a value you can act on. Know that values can ebb and flow with time, so it can be helpful to engage in this exercise throughout the course of your life.
2. Notice What Gets in the Way
Once you know your values, you may notice internal barriers rise up:
“I’m not good enough.”
“What if I fail?”
“It’s too late for me.”
“People will judge me.”
These are natural thoughts and feelings. ACT doesn’t seek to get rid of them. Instead, it invites you to acknowledge them without letting them control or dictate your behavior. This is where mindfulness and acceptance become crucial. You can feel fear and still act with courage. You can notice self-doubt and still move forward.
3. Take Committed Action
This is the heart of ACT: taking action, even when it’s hard, in the service of your values.
Living your values doesn’t require huge, dramatic steps. In fact, it often can look like:
Saying "no" to a toxic pattern and "yes" to your boundaries
Making time for your art, even if no one sees it
Reaching out to a friend when it feels easier to isolate
Applying for a job aligned with your passion—even if you’re afraid of rejection
The question to ask yourself is: “What’s one small step I can take today that reflects who I want to be?”
4. Be Kind to Yourself When You Slip
Living your values isn’t about being perfect. You’ll have days when you fall out of alignment—and that’s the human condition. ACT encourages self-compassion and flexibility. When you notice you’ve drifted from your values, gently realign without shame. It’s like steering a boat—you’ll need to course-correct often, but as long as you’re aiming at your north star, you’re on the right path.
Living your values isn't about having it all figured out or waiting for the perfect moment. It’s about making space for all the messy, real parts of being human—and choosing actions that reflect the life you want to create.
You don’t need to feel confident to live meaningfully.
You just need to take action in the direction of what matters. So… what matters to you?
Start ACT Therapy in Asheville, NC
If you’re interested in learning more about ACT or are curious about how you might begin to use ACT to improve your mental health, consider reaching out to our team of caring therapists to discuss personalized strategies through online and in-person support from Strive On Counseling. Don’t let anxiety hold you back any longer—take the courageous step towards a healthier mindset by following these simple steps:
Meet with a compassionate therapist
Begin your journey to healing and relief!
Other Services Offered by Strive On Counseling
At Strive On Counseling, we understand that anxiety and depression are just one part of a larger picture of mental health. That’s why we offer a range of mental health services designed to support your overall well-being. In addition to online trauma therapy, our services include individual counseling, anxiety treatment, EMDR trauma therapy, therapy for men’s issues, mindfulness practices, Buddhist counseling, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and teletherapy/online therapy. Some other resources we offer include guided meditations, a list of books and other useful resources, and online courses. If you would like more information about any of these services, please don’t hesitate to reach out and start your therapy journey in North Carolina today!